Archive for November, 2010

Cabin in the Woods

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2010 by caseanator

Here is an actual photograph of me from my experience in a quaint cabin somewhere north of here for Thanksgiving.

(Roots shown actual size)

This is pretty much my experience for every holiday from childhood until now.  Except as an adult I at least have the sense to only eat 2 rolls with my meal and eat 2 rolls later after falling asleep. (Four rolls! That is too many rolls!)  And my helping of mashed potatoes was heartbreakingly sensible. 

After spending many hours Wednesday chopping, peeling, baking, and pre-cooking, Thursday went by in a flash.  That may have something to do with the Bloody Mary, 2 vodka tonics and 1/2 of a vodka and juice (tragically losing 1/2 of its life in high-five incident in which I grazed it with my elbow).  Followed by hours of ‘napping’ which turned into going to bed-ing while everyone else stayed up playing games and laughing.  2 toddlers literally shamed me.

The rest of the weekend I played far more Sims than anyone should (especially after boyfriend accidentally saved over my game and I had to start my fake life ALL OVER AGAIN). And slept like a hibernating animal, waking only to resume my fake life and forage.  It was tragically void of partying, though we did go out Saturday night and had a lot of fun and late night pizza.

 

Weekend Recap

Posted in Uncategorized on November 22, 2010 by caseanator

I remember this episode of The Mole from 2005, back when it was a show and Anderson Cooper hosted it and I didn’t feel the cold bony hand of death placed firmly on my shoulder. (Turns out that getting old only takes 5 years!) Contestants had to spend the night in a room with the song “Tiny Bubbles” playing on a constant loop while they were trying to sleep in a small room with cots.  Confined spaces on uncomfortable furniture listening to the same sounds over and over again is a form of torture, we can all agree, right? Just checking.

Also, I’m glad to have a 2 day work week.

The weekend was pretty relaxing too.  We got a t-vite (text invite, not a “t-bag invite” which I just found out exists.)(not this)

on Friday from our friend to come over and participate in a small friendsgiving.

I half-assedly looked around the apartment for something to bring as a side.  The best I could come up with was one of 3 varieties of frozen pizza or some packets of instant mashed potatoes, but I knew our host would already have real ones for us.  The breadbox yielded 2 packages of easy mac, a tub of miniature gummy bears, and 2 half eaten packages of Mamba.  It’s funny how you can be the kind of person who owns a breadbox and simultaneously the kind of person who stores your candy in said breadbox.

Self-sufficient adults live here.

So we just brought some Hudys and my traditional water bottle full of vodka and tonic.  Boyfriend and I probably overdid it on the outfits like we do when the seasons change and we have new clothes and places to go.

“Cowboy boots and rainbow striped dresses and fringe leather coats.  Totally normal.”-Me

There was turkey and sides and cheap beer and wine flavored cigarellos (!!?) and it was lovely.  Even lovelier than I expected.  Our friends hosting the party are always quite generous and generally fun to be around.

Saturday we did the traditional shopping for our store and at some point mid-afternoon I downloaded the Sims 3 for iPhone app.  I played for a few hours while boyfriend did some work.  When he was finished he downloaded the app himself (goodbye $6.99 x 2!) and we played until Saturday Night Live came on, watched for a few minutes, then geared our phones back up as soon as the first commercial came on.  We had made plans the night before but decided that playing a game on our phones in sweatpants was more appealing?

So naturally one of the first things we did on Sunday was to buy the full version for Wii.  I made a Sim of myself and obviously one of a bitchy and ghetto foster-sister with bleached blonde hair named Q’Wzinar T. (Cuisinart! Such a perfect ghetto name, me.)

I flipped the game off long enough to catch the last hour or so of the AMAs and see NKOTBSB – THE BEST (would only be topped by NKOTB/N’Sync.  Tour name pending.) and watch little Justin Bieber hug it out with Usher.  Awww you guyyyyys!

Anywho, I’m probably going to spend a lot of free time playing The Sims this week.  Also slaving over an apple pie.  Also eating.

Pancetta, Bikes, Drinks.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2010 by caseanator

A few weeks ago I made a little note to myself in my iPhone. I forgot all about it until last night when I opened the notes app to remind myself of something else and saw it and laughed and decided to do what I’d set out to do.

Boyfriend and I were riding to one of our favorite restaurants. I started talking about how bacon is completely overrated because pancetta is obviously the superior salty meat. Intending to convey my love for pancetta, instead of saying “PANCETTA IS AWESOME!” or “PANCETTA FOREVER BACON NEVA!” I said “Pancetta is the whip.” Meaning all of these things, but sounding like a b-boy from 1987 out of nowhere. We giggled a little about it and it devolved to “What? Pancetta ghost rides the whip?” which I found to be a particularly hilarious image. I told bf I would draw it for him sometime. That sometime has come.

Now when you’re googling around the Internets, you will spend less time tearing out your hair, yelling aloud “Why isn’t there ONE decent image of pancetta ghost riding a cartoony Land Rover with giant rims?”

I’ve been drawing other things too. Like this original for my brother’s birthday.

Worth upwards of $5 on the internet.

Boyfriend has been doing some crafting of his own. He got a new bike last weekend as a project.

“Please show me what it’s like to live in a real home and not some bike collector’s storage unit :(“

He wants something that he can attach a rack to and ride to the market on. Something he can tinker with and shine up and make pretty then probably sell off and do over again when he gets bored with it. Right now he’s working on a seat. I had a few small leather samples around and he is 3/4 of the way through sewing his own seat cover and it’s looking really great.

(Note there’s some dangly strings and loose parts. It hasn’t all been secured yet, but it’s almost there.)

The reason I originally opened the notes app to begin with was to remind myself to share this drink idea with you. Keeping it real (lazy) we often run out of tonic and we don’t drink much outside vodka, beer, and water. Vodka and water tastes gross and sometimes you are desperate for a nightcap. (always). This is slightly (much) more delicious than my previous poor person mixed drink recipe and just as easy. We literally had nothing. No lemons, no limes, no fruit of any kind, no kool-aid, no Crystal Light (because I am not a mom), or powdered drinks (Including jell-o mix. Like I didn’t think of that.). Until one of us (probably me) spotted the popsicles. I mean, they’re essentially frozen grape juice, yes? At least the kind we buy. And it’s getting cold outside, so it’s not exactly popsicle season. The first time bf tried it, he halved the popsicle and added water to dilute and thaw it. It tasted like a very bad generic brand of vitamin water – which is particularly bad with the cheapest vodka money can buy. (Even in Kentucky. Which is very little money.) Last night he just microwaved a whole popsicle for a few seconds and it was perfect. Add ice, vodka, and top off with water.

“Come with me to dreamland!”

Please feel free obligated to leave suggestions of other things we should keep around the house in other tonic emergencies.

I guess I will see you all Monday. Wishing you luck and lots of caffeine during this insurance meeting season and hoping that none of my health insurance meeting doodles come true.

McMissed U!

Posted in Uncategorized on November 6, 2010 by caseanator

I know it’s been 8 months but I have a really really good reason you guys!  No I don’t.  Well sort of?  Someone close to us had a bit of a situation that made me start to feel funny about posting about all of the places I go and cribs we reside in and all of that.  But since that is over and some time has passed I feel like I’m ready to get my head in the game again.  Alright! Let’s do this! Wooo! Go team! [Overzealous Applause]

To catch up, everything here is much as it has been.  We still eat out all the time and party on the weekends.  We’ve been having to get up super early lately and we’re running a side business on Etsy and it takes up a lot of our time and energy.  Our Saturday days are spent politely scooting around old ladies to evaluate dusty old trinkets then photographing our scores to put online.  But it’s so much funner than it sounds!  We’re saving up our business earnings to buy a much hipper car.  We thought a truck would be sensible for the business, but a 1980s Mazda RX7 would significantly spike the cool meter.  I think you know what we’re leaning towards.

Picture me riding in this with the fringe on my leather coat flappin in the wind.

To make up for all of this time we’ve missed together, dear readers, (and by that I mean- Hi Mom! Hi boyfriend’s mom!) we sacrificed nearly $10 to Mr. McDonald and ate our very first McRibs.   Both bf and I had never had one, although he surmised that they were probably a lot like the faux rib sandwiches of his childhood lunch line.

Step one was to post as my mid-day Facebook status that we were going to have a McRib date after work.  A variety of responses rolled in.  Wishes of good luck, warnings of health risks ,don’t do it!s (Hi again boyfriend’s mom!), tips (make sure not to get screwed on the pickles says Dan.  WAIT, there are pickles on these “ribs”? Sure.),  and a bold statement about a sister of a friend who would only break her vegetarianism for McRib season. 

Starving after work, we drove to one of the greatest McDonald’s I know of.  (Rich people and their crispy golden fries. Pf!)  The familiar arches proclaimed our destiny.

We ordered and there was only the slightest hint of judgement coming from the other end of the speaker.  We debated about getting them without the weird toppings.  I was to understand that barbecued ribs somehow went with onions and pickles?  But we wanted to have the true pure experience.  2 McRibs please!

Soon a young man was handing us a bag full of the freshest and tastiest fries I’d had in a long time, 2 hot fresh McRib sandwiches, and about 37 napkins (Facebook friends warned us about this.  “You will need these 37 napkins”, I thought to myself).  We were pretty close to home so we agreed to eat the fries and save the unboxing for home.

“You can’t take a picture of this”.  “I’ll be discreet!” …….”That was not discreet.”  “I know.”

On the way home traffic started piling up and we started losing patience when the fries ran out.  That unmistakable warm pickle smell was filling my nostrils and I just wanted to see what the thing looked like.  I had always imagined them the way they are in commercials.

Big slabs of rib-like strips of meat, bright red gravity defying substance shellacked on, and some lettuce or something?, yep, looks like the McRib I imagine.

I picked up the little boxes which were both smeared with barbecue sauce on the outside.   I peeked inside and the bf asked what exactly we were looking at.  “It’s a real mess in there,” I warned.  He had me roll his up like a burrito in some napkins so he could drive and eat.  He noted the weird smell…like nothing of us had either smelled before.  Not necessarily appetizing but not barf inducing.

He takes a bite and says “Hm.”  I took mine out and examined it a little more closely.  Not at all what I expected somehow.  And I took a bite myself“Hm.”

We ate in relative silence, trying to figure out what exactly was going on in our mouths.  It didn’t taste at all what I expected it to taste like.  It didn’t taste like bf’s childhood memories.  The pickles were so weird! Salty weird barbecue and pickles? Bf noted that they were “Gross!”.  I thought that the bun was the best part: soft and warm and tasted relatively fresh for fast food.  I maintain that the “rib” patty was like hot dogs mashed into a slab shape.  (Which isn’t as bad as it sounds….I love hot dogs)  We both ate every bit of our sandwiches.  The overall consensus is that they tasted…like food.  Not good food, not bad food.  Just something that was there and that we ate and eh it was fine.  Like a burger or hot dog from a concession stand.  It was there and you were hungry and you ate it.  It’s not like someone would be like “Do you recommend the pretzels and hot chocolate from this particular football stadium?” because everyone knows it just tastes edible.  At the end I examined myself and didn’t find a drop of sauce on me.  Untiiiil about 5 minutes later when I picked up my iPhone with a sticky smear of red on the white back.

So there you have it.  I’ll shout it from the rooftops! MC RIBS TASTE PRETTY OKAY!  But, you know, ultimately I’d recommend one most as a gentle laxative.