I never meant to ignore you, sweet precious little blog. Lately I’ve been cold. And lazy. And spending every free moment browsing apartments on craigslist, listening to This American Life, and/or playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii that we finally decided was worth playing after collecting dust for the last several months. This post will serve as a recap to catch you up on all the cool stuff we were doing for the last month or so.
We’re not poor anymore. We were poor this summer. I had a waitressing job that had a sketchy-at-best pay scale and sold several belongings to pay the rent even after my roommate so graciously let me crash without paying it for several weeks. But rest assured we still stay true to our roots by doing things like eating slices of pepperjack cheese and drinking burger beer for dinner.
In the beginning of December, I discovered Strongbow. It’s a tasty alcoholic cider that can be found at Whole Foods and the sketch Marathon on Chase. In my constant pursuit of being more epic, I had to do something to counteract my dad’s birthday. We went back to the neighborhood I grew up in and *waited* for a table at Outback Steakhouse. Even though I didn’t run into anyone I knew somehow, I could feel my cred slipping through my fingertips. It absolutely warranted my first shower drinking situation. (not that I would ever need an excuse) Although I’ve done this with cans of Rockstar before, my lack of beer drinking has prevented alcoholic bevs in the shower. Thank you Strongbow. You’ve changed something inside me.
Mid-month, my ladyfriend introduced me to the Bobby Bottleservice videos on Funny or Die. I’ve never seen Jersey Shore, though. Lately I’ve been wrestling with wondering if I’m too cool to have cable now or if it’s put me out of touch with the kids. Tough decision.
Anyway, I’ve said Vokka a good thousand times now. It feels good.
About a week before Christmas I heard some sirens outside. This happens at least once a day – and I usually scurry to the window to see if I can catch a good fight or shootout or something. This time 4 cop cars surrounded a car and pulled their guns out. (There’s another around the corner that you can’t see in this picture) He didn’t resist, so it was kiiiind of a lame stand-off.
I spent the day before Christmas with my boyfriend’s family. It was all pretty standard. Knock back a couple drinks, make the baby say your name a thousand times and the name of various items, do some laundry, drink some more and end up playing Apples to Apples with you boyfriend’s shirtless brothers and dad.
Christmas day, nothing was really going on. My parents were out of town so we grabbed Indian food (which is a hipster staple in here, but I just hate it. I’ll admit) and headed to the burbs to watch episodes of Degrassi TNG on their giant tv and drink their cheap wine in cheesy christmas glasses. Ps Furniture Fair or whatever: Sometimes ‘overstuffed’ is really OVER stuffed. See: Mom and Dad’s couch.
As far as Christmas gifts go, I got tons of good stuff including a box of Franzia from my boyfriend’s brother. My favorite, however, was the gift I bestowed on my boyfriend. One drunken night we created a fake Facebook event for a racially harmonious motorcycle ride. We made a fake logo, fake picture captions, and laughed until we were rolling around on the bed nearly urinating. I gave him a mug with the logo printed on it.
The day after Christmas my former-life dog died. Not cool baby Jesus, not cool.
NYE was pretty generic. I didn’t even puke, which I think means I’m getting old. We arrived at the bar just before midnight, kissed it out, drank a lot, and walked home. Our friends came over to play Wii which we promptly forgot about and started yelling HAPPY NEW YEAR out the window to the hipsters below. (Part of the time I wore a stick on mustache and soul patch which I had been saving for just such an occasion) The game was over once some dudes circled back and tried to sidewalk holla and our boyfriends had to pop out of the other window to scare them away. My boyfriend spent part of the night on the freezing kitchen floor “resting” and I hear my lady friend spent it curled around the toilet. Nbd.
The new sushi restaurant across the street finally opened and we’ve enjoyed it twice now. It was super convenient one night that it snowed hard and we didn’t want to drive to get food.
Really that’s about it. Hopefully things will get more urban in the near future as we’re actively looking at spots downtown. Anything that could be called an “epic loft situation” is up for consideration. We like our crib now, but it’s time to move up (and downtown) ya’ll. I leave you with this one last tip. You can open a banana from the bottom. And it’s easier. And the monkeys have known all along.